We are a week into another new year and the renewed (but often temporary) resolve to do “that thing” you’ve been telling yourself you’ll do for who-knows-how-long.  Perhaps that surge of energy from the holidays has already started to wane and you’re not so pumped about hitting the gym.  If so, you may need a different approach.  Counterintuitively, the reason we often fail our New Year’s resolutions is that they’re simply defined as a goal or outcome.  Sound a bit odd?  If it does, fear not, the solution is simple and all will soon become clear (or at least as clear as my writing will permit).

To reach or achieve a goal (an outcome), setting a goal itself doesn’t help you get there.  We intuitively start doing things to get there, but we don’t always focus enough on the actual steps to reach our goals.  Often our New Year’s resolutions are something along the lines of “lose X pounds, eat better, read more, etc.”  However, simply stating your goals is a bit like putting the carriage in front of the horse because to get there you’ll need different behaviors to drive you towards your goals.

To reach our goals for the new year, we should resolve to create new habits.  Habit is the powerful and often unseen force that drives our lives.  The small but repeated actions that make you who you are and define how you live your life.  The power of habit is that it is the little engine that tugs you through life, and without changing habits we’ll inevitably continue along the same trajectory.  The plus side is that by simply focusing on habit, we’ll find our lives changing rapidly and almost as though it’s happening by itself – bit by bit.

How it’s done

So, how does it look in practice to resolve to set new habits and accomplish the things you want for the coming year?  The process is pretty simple, actually. For a desired goal or outcome (for example, lose X pounds), I try to break it into the smallest repeatable steps I can think of.  I’ll repeat that since it’s fundamentally very important, find the smallest AND repeatable actions you can take to reach your goal.

Habits are defined as being the routine (and often unconscious) actions and choices we make on a day-to-day basis.  So let’s continue with the weight loss example, breaking it into the smallest repeatable steps (habits) that will inch us closer to our goals.  I also find that 3 is the magic number of habits for each goal, but you can add more if they’re infrequent (once per week or less) or particularly easy for you to accomplish.  Too many components will make it hard to focus your energy, so try to pick the three habits that will have the greatest effects while not being too difficult.

Losing weight is a combination of burning more calories and/or consuming fewer calories so let’s break down our habit resolutions to:

• Exercise 15 minutes per day – Ex. walking, climb stairs during office breaks, jog, weight lift
• Replace or eliminate 100 empty calories each day – Ex. leave daily candy bar off grocery list, replace with a high-protein greek yogurt or supplement bar, or eliminate altogether
• At least one strength/weights exercise per week (build more muscle, burn more calories)
• Incorporate more satiating foods to my diet – Ex. eggs for breakfast (shown to lower appetites), fiber-rich foods, good balance of fats
• Find one new healthy food or meal to try each week (bonus points if they’re quick to make and/or inexpensive)
• Limit eating out to twice per week (better control of calorie intake)

You’ll see one underlying theme with these steps: I’ve attempted to make them almost comically small and simple. The trick is to make them so small that it would feel unreasonable to say “I can’t do it/don’t have time/etc.”  They may even feel downright insignificant, but over half the battle is just starting.  I’ve picked what I thought were 3 key habits along with 3 semi-passive habits that are complementary to the goal.

If at first you don’t succeed…

Perhaps our first set of habits doesn’t quite work for us, then what? First of all, it’s okay!  Experimenting with various habits is almost as important as setting them in the first place.  The solution is to simply make them smaller and smaller until you can’t say “no” to yourself.  So for the above example we could simplify to only three and revise our habits to:

• Exercise 5 minutes per day
• Eliminate 50 calories per day
• Make one diet improvement per week

With these basic steps, walking 5 minutes per day and eliminating 50 calories from your diet will add up to 10 pounds over the course of the year.  They’re also too small to say no to.

There’s a good chance your walk will end up lasting longer than 5 minutes and you can work up to your goal of 15 minutes per day, and then beyond – just by starting.  You’ll likely find that after you stop eating your daily candy bar, the cravings go away and you don’t “need” it anymore.  Perhaps by trying one healthier and/or more satiating food per week, you’ll lead yourself to a slow transformation of your diet and have fewer cravings.  Getting the ball rolling creates momentum that will keep carrying you forward even when you let off the gas.

One thing to be wary of is the allure of the “home run,” the single event/action you hope will lead to big results really fast.  In our weight loss example this could be a crash diet or fad workout.  While sometimes these can show promise for a short period, the home run is not a sustainable strategy and will not lead to continued improvement.

Slow & Steady Wins the Race

Over time, as these truly become habits, they’ll feel subconscious and will only require minimum mental or emotional energy to keep going (again, momentum).  I have long gone to the gym every Friday, and because it’s become a habit and a routine, it’s not something I have to fit in or even think about, it’s something I just do.

It’s also important to understand from the get-go that you will “fail” at times.  This is part of anything we do, just understand that some days you’ll forget, you’ll be sick, or you’ll be legitimately too tired or too busy.  This is just life, so be prepared to forgive yourself and keep moving forward.  It’s for this very reason that many diet and workout plans prescribe a “cheat day,” which is simply a buffer to give yourself a free pass for mistakes and impulses and not be discouraged.

Just keep at it and don’t give up.  It’s commonly said that it takes 21 days to form a habit, which is a great start, but studies have shown that it takes closer to two months.  That’s plenty of time to learn, adapt, and experiment along the way.  Once you’ve cemented your new habits you’ll be aimed right at your goals, and as long as your habits remain, you’ll keep marching down the path to success.

My Habit Resolutions

So what are some of the habits I resolve to build into my life for this year?  Here are a few of mine:

Simplify & De-clutter

• Follow the 2-minute rule to keep things organized and to-dos from piling up
• Identify one under-used object per week and sell or donate it
• Setup email filters
• Set aside a chunk of time every Sunday to tie up loose ends and organize

Grow Mind

• Read 15 minutes per day
• Build reading and learning into my bedtime routine, helping me relax and retain new knowledge
• If I find myself with a few minutes of free time, replace aimless browsing with reading
• Learn one new thing I can apply every day

Grow Body

• Make “dedicated” exercise a part of every day, even if only 5 minutes
• Eat only when I feel hungry
• Make stretching/yoga a part of my morning/evening routine

Grow Spirit

• Reflect and BE GRATEFUL
• Volunteer my time once per month to someone/something that needs it
• Be continually more authentic, embrace vulnerability
• Schedule regular days & times to catch up with friends and family & maintain relationships
• Appreciate discomfort and push the boundaries of my comfort zone
• Give the gift of a smile every day
• BONUS: IGNORE THE INTERNET TROLLS

Just Do It

• Dedicate blocks of time to complete personal and professional tasks and stick to a schedule
• Say “no” more often, don’t do things I don’t want to do or that interfere with what I need to do
• Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize, and practice the 80/20 rule
• Give thanks, be present, and BE HAPPY.

Use it or lose it

Of course, as the year goes on my priorities will change, some of these resolutions may become habits and no longer need dedicated effort, and I may struggle with others.  It’s important to maintain your list, revisit and revise them often, and stay focused on making new habits a habit.  I said it earlier, but it’s important to understand that if you need to make changes, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite, you’ve found something that doesn’t work for you, at least for right now, and experimenting will only continue to lead you closer to what does work.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.  —Thomas A. Edison

So tell me…

What are some of your goal-setting tips and tricks?  What habits will you be working on this year and which ones do you think I should add to my list?  Comment away!

Here’s to a happy, healthy, and prosperous year ahead!  Go forth and make habit your goal-crushing friend.

– EH